We somehow managed to make love for the first time in 18 months. No we didn’t follow the steps outlined in the self-help books. We didn’t go to therapy together and discuss sex and lovemaking. It just kind of happened. Our cuddling just kept getting more and more intimate and active. It just sort of happened without all pre-planning and discussion that I thought would be required.
I would not call this any sort of breakthrough. We still have all the baggage. All the hurt and the “others.”
I’m still thinking “Did that really happen?” Progress like this has always had serious repercussion for Susan. One step forward and two steps back.. I’m waiting for the first shoe to drop, not the second. This has not changed my expectations or how I treat Susan and the others. I would not be surprised we go another 18 months. I’m not sure what to think of this. We took a lot of time. Maybe more than we ever have in all the years.
It just worked out.