I was working away at the office today when something my therapist mentioned in our sessions last week. The comment bubbles up to the surface once or twice a day. It’s hard to hide teary eyes and sniffles at “the shop.”
She said, “Sometimes people don’t get healed in this life”
Susan and I are at an age where we have conversations regarding when we might retire (if ever). We are on the downside of life, which in many ways we find to be rich in experiences. Just mention the grandsons and Susan lights up. I in a position where I can give back to my profession. We are in good enough physical health. But without speaking the words to each other, we know the end of this earthly existence is not that far away.
My therapist was not being mean. She spoke the words in context with a whole paragraph, you might say. It has been on my mind since Susan’s work became very serious, and was really brought to the forefront at the D.I.D conference we went to last January (and plan to attend again this winter.) I noticed we may have been the oldest attendees. Nearly everything I’ve read illustrate work being done by people in their 20’s to 40’s. That an educated guess on my part.
I could be wrong.
If, as I believe, the knowledge we attain in this life will rise with us in the resurrection then perhaps our work with D.I.D is worth it. Or maybe we are just fooling ourselves into thinking this will make each day better when it is clearly not. therapy puts Susan through a grinder and they have not got to the “hard stuff” yet.
I have had fears that the shit the abusers dumped on Susan and me will not be to some resolution before our time is up. Just like she said, she and we won’t be healed in this life. Hell, I don’t even know what resolution would be or what it looks like. What my dear therapist said has made me slowly turn toward the thoughts that I must not tell anyone, least of all Susan. I may need to consider alternate realities It’s something for next weeks visit.