I have been very low for the past few weeks. The 2008 financial meltdown continues to affect my profession.¹ And being older, despite having a lot of experience, is a detriment. I’ve worked full time for two of the past 5 years, and did some part-time retail work that paid so little, I could still collect unemployment. But that’s gone as is a chunk of our retirement.
But I do have a few things that keep me going. One of them is fishing. We have a nice boat that I can get out on some of our local lakes and be distracted from the problems at home. Susan is all for this and actually thinks I should be out on the water more often. She knows I need some time away and I appreciate her encouragement.
As a support person, it’s important to find time for activities that take us away from the after effect of sexual abuse and Dissociative Identity Disorder. It a heavy load we share with our partner but in order for us to continue to carry the load, we have to put it down every so often and rest. It’s like moving a heavy piece of furniture. Sure, we’d all like to be able to say we carried the couch out to the truck without putting it down, but reality says you have to put the couch down, squeeze the cramps out of your hands and arms, and wipe the sweat off your forehead. Then you can pick up the couch again and continue on.
So that’s what I did today. Put down the abuse / D.I.D. load and fished. I was out about 4 hours. It took me an hour to let things go and concentrate on boat control, how the wind was blowing, and how deep or shallow I was tossing my lures. I had to let the static in my head fade away so I could pay attention to what I was doing. Once I did that, I started to feel little tugs on my lure, note where I was on the lake, circle back around and drift over the same area again. Eventually I fooled 7 largemouth bass into biting my offering to the fishing gods. And I released all of them so I could do it again another day.
Take time for your self. Do it for your partner and do it for your self!
¹To help keep things somewhat anonymous I prefer not to be specific on my work.