Susan has finally followed through on her therapists request to put together a timeline of when the parts were created. I would have drawn a line with birth at the left end with the right end of the line being today, with a hash mark indicating when the part was created. Susan’s approach was much different. She made a couple of chains of light cardboard people cutouts, then adding their name and facial expressions. Some were actually happy expressions. I was surprised. Most seem so dark and angry to me.
I know she is doing some hard work. Susan spends a lot of her non-working time writing in her journals. I don’t go out of my way to look in the journals. Sometimes she will leave the journal open and I will see horrid pictures, hateful words; general evil and darkness. Much of her hate is directed to herself. She talks to me about it sometimes. It scares me. Some of the time she will just close her eyes and dissociate. I don’t know what I should do about that, if anything. Se says she needs to rest, so I just let it go.
It’s been a long road to get her to the point with her therapist that she can allow the parts of her to be called forward and introduced to the therapist. She’s been with this one about 4 years now. The previous therapist never got close to this point. You can’t put all the blame on the therapist. The survivor has to be ready to work with them. Her present therapist mentioned to me this past fall that he thought Susan was ready to let the parts speak. She wasn’t ready. It’s taken about 7 months to get her ready to introduce the parts.