Susan and I met at a party the middle of our senior year of high school. We took an immediate liking to each other at the party. After our first date a few days after the party, I thought “This is someone who I could marry.” We were both smitten.
The “books” say we unconsciously look for a mate who can fulfill our needs. I’ve been told this connection can be immediate. I’m working on understanding how I someone who was sexually abused would fulfill my needs. There is something disturbing to think that is what I would want. It reminds me of the predators who seek out their victims and groom them. I have to remember: unconscious. That is the difference. The sickos seek out their victims consciously. If I don’t remember “unconscious,” I liken myself to a predator. No, never!
When we started dating, I had no idea of her history, no idea how deeply disturbed her family was. Sure they had their quirks, but I would not know the whole story for years. Hell, Susan is still discovering what went on. I was very serious about her within days, so there was no way I could consciously know her history and the dark secret held tight within her family.